The Secret to Success.
Proudly posing with my parents at my high school graduation.
When I was 17 I received a card from a family friend who was congratulating me on my recent achievement of graduating high school; The one sentence of advice written inside the card would go on to change my life, shape my work ethic, and is my personal master key to motivation.
I had just graduated from Kamiah High School in May of 2018 with 20 other students that I’d known since pre-school. Our entire highschool was 100 kids and everyone knew each other's family. [This has always been commonplace to me, but people look at me like I am from a different planet when I tell them this fun fact]. Unlike a lot of people, I really cherish my high school experience. I made some lifelong friends, became the president of the student body, took the prettiest girl in school to prom (twice), and had no problem making varsity basketball because we hardly had enough guys to fill the bench. It was the ideal small town Idaho story.
On graduation day the typical traditions played out. Graduation ceremony in the morning running into the afternoon, pictures with family and friends on the front lawn of the school, and then the students and families disperse into their post graduation parties at shops, the riverfront park, or in my case the back patio of the only bar in town. It was during this party that I picked up a card from a family friend who couldn't attend but wanted to extend his congratulations, the mans was Darryl Smith.
[Quick and necessary context on Darryl Smith; You know those people that are so hyper intelligent that they struggle in social settings? IQ of 180 but you’d never leave them unsupervised at a house party? That's Darryl. His own son would refer to him as “The Darryl” as if he was some sort of phenomenon or occurrence rather than human. Darryl is a successful businessman, world traveler, and once told me that his trick to flying internationally was and I quote “A Black Russian and two sleeping pills, it's like time travel! You wake up and you’re there!”. I was 12 years old when I was given this recipe, Thanks Darryl.]
Eager to see what dollar amount he had left in the card (remember I was 17 and saving beer money for college, and I knew Darryl was successful) I was surprised to see a sentence written largely across the empty interior of the card. Spanning the width of the card read:
“The secret to success is doing what needs to be done, whether you feel like doing it or not.” - Daryl.
“Woah?” I said aloud to myself.
Absolute solid gold. A home run. Advice worth more than any bill he could’ve put in the card. A sentence that I have said out loud more times than I can count and can be widely applied to most circumstances which in part makes it so powerful. It's an easy formula: [Success = Execution of necessary task, regardless of motivation for necessary task] Lets make it tangible.
Scenario A: Big test is coming up in school. You know you need to study for at least 12 hours to succeed but you just don't feel like it. Oh well, The secret to succeeding at this test is studying for 12 hours whether you feel like doing it or not.
Scenario B: Summer is coming up and you really want to be confident without a shirt. You need to track your calories to stay in a caloric deficit and exercise daily but you just don't feel like doing that for the next 4 months. Oh well, the secret to successfully feeling comfortable in your own skin this summer is counting calories and exercising whether you feel like it or not.
Scenario C: In a toxic relationship that you need to end? You should really have that hard conversation with your partner but you just don't feel like it and it makes you nervous just thinking of it. Oh well, stop wasting each other's time and have the conversation whether you feel like having it or not.
I could go all day, this really applies to so much.
On a deeper level of understanding, the anterior mid-cingulate cortex is the section of the brain that handles adversity, friction, and overcoming obstacles. The more we do things when we don't feel like it, the more this area stimulates and even grows. Over time, like a muscle, working this area of your brain makes it easier to face challenges and overcome adversity, every new hill seems easier to climb than the last. Some studies even suggest growing this area contributes to better cognitive function when you start to age.
There you have it, the secret to success. It looks good on paper, but the truth is this isn’t second nature to most people, including me. Of course I take the easy road sometimes, but every day I look for opportunities to employ this advice and look out for myself. Next time you encounter something you REALLY don't want to do, say the aforementioned advice out loud, grit your teeth, and hit it square in the nose.
- Ben
